Being Rejected Sucks

Hey guys! My name is Tanesha Joline, but please call me Joline. I’m currently in University and I want to share my story. So sit back and read on. 😎

Yesterday, I got rejected from a part time job interview and not gonna lie, I kinda dwelled on it for a while. So in order to move on, what better way than to write about it? Maybe you guys can relate.

Why does being rejected hurts?

For me there are 3 main reason why being rejected hurts.

1. You see other people getting accepted
2. It doesn’t validate your effort
3. It stings your ego

So let’s dive in

You see other people getting accepted

I think this is the reason why I was so hung up on being rejected because I saw my friend getting accepted while I didn’t.

So it made me feel self conscious, I saw them work hard and succeed, but why didn’t that happen to me? Why didn’t I get accepted?

This self comparison it’s like a rabbit hole. It goes down and down but it never goes up. So comparing yourself only makes you feel worse and it doesn’t lift you up.

Comparing yourself is like falling deeper to your insecurities

Also comparing doesn’t really solve anything. It just makes me feel sad. It made me allergic to my friend success. So I don’t like comparing myself but I’m only human, so most of the time I do compare myself.

I got out of this hole of me comparing myself by reminding myself that what my friends achieved didn’t make me less of a person. Sometimes things just happened and it’s okay that I got rejected.

It doesn’t validate your effort

I think yesterday when I got interviewed, I really give in my all. I think every people give their all when they are interviewed.

So when I got rejected it feels like what I have been doing is for naught, is for nothing. So of course I got frustrated.

I felt the sting of the rejection when I realized that turns out my effort is not that great. And I got melancholy for a day… well two days technically.

This is a depiction of me feeling melancholy for a while

So what did I do after I got out of the rut? I decided to accept the pain of rejection and move on. Because the harsh truth is that dwelling on your failures doesn’t do any good.

So I reasoned myself is that my effort isn’t good enough now but someday in the future I know that my effort can be good enough.

It stings your ego

The first real reaction that I got when I got rejected was that the interviewer hated me and I am better off without this job.

That is the authentic feeling that I got. And yeah I was being dramatic and of course I over reacted.

Me feeling extreme hate and sulking at the same time

Then I realized why am I hating the interviewer for no reason? We were just stranger who got together for an interview. Do they have any intention to make my life miserable? No of course not

They are probably have their own problems and working on it. Hating on them doesn’t make any difference. I got rejected and that’s that.

So I’m learning to not blame on the interviewer and accept the situation as it is.

So you guys might ask. Joline, what can we do to feel okay?

Well there are lots of way to make you feel okay. You can read a bunch of article or watched many many youtube video. You can even talked to a friend about it.

However if you are too lazy to do that, I can sump it up to you what I learned from the articles that I have read and videos that I have watched.

Don’t Dwell On Your Rejection For Too Long

I think it’s okay to feel sad or melancholic just not for too long. The reason is dwelling on your rejection doesn’t make you feel better, rather you will worse the more times come by.

So limit yourself to 1 day or more to dwell on the rejection. It all depends on you. Trust your instinct to decide how long is enough for you. Then after you feel the hurt, then slowly you can make peace with it.

Reminder: Be gentle with yourself and know when to let go of the hurt.

It’s okay to be sad by your rejection

Learn From The Past But Don’t Overanalyze It

There is a very very think line from learning and overanalyzing. So here are some example to differentiate between the two of them.

You are learning from the past if you are asking:

• Why did I get rejected?
• What can I do in the future so I have a less chance of getting rejected?
• What can I learn from my rejection?
• What can I do now to improve my skill that I seem to lack?

However you are NOT learning if you are asking or telling yourself:

• If I done this, would I got a different outcome?
• If I answer differently, would I get the job?
• Man if only I can go back to the past.
• Did the interviewer hate me? Is that the reason why I was rejected?

The answer for all the question above is irrelevant because you can’t change the past. It has already happened.

You are definitely overanalyzing if you think a different answer would help you because even if you did answer correctly but the interviewer thinks you are not suitable, what can you do about it?

And if you are thinking that the interviewer hates you then what can you do about it? That is totally out of your control and it would drive you nuts thinking about it. Trust me I’ve been there

What Can I Do In The Future

So after learning from your mistake, you need to see what you can do in the future to improve your chance of not being rejected.

So let’s take me for an example.

I got rejected from the job interview

#1 Why-> I didn’t understand the interviewer’s question

• Next time in the future-> Ask for the interviewer to repeat the question

#2 Why-> Sugarcoating my answer

• Next time in the future-> Be honest with my answer and don’t be too much

#3 Why-> I didn’t make myself stand out

• Next time in the future->Tell the interviewer that I am committed and share about my past experience that I am commited.

End Note

So you are at the end of my blog/ insight. Thank you for reading. Good job guys

Good job guys.

I’m not promising if you do these exact steps it would guarantee you a job. I just got rejected, remember. But I know that as long as we try, that’s good enough.

And let us not to be hard on ourselves. Finding a job is hard and remember if you are not alone in this.

And if you like my writing, check my website taneshajoline.com. I made it this year so I appreciated if you want to visit it. I talk about self help things and whatever that interested me like Dystopia.

Thank you for reading and have a good day.

Instagram: tanesha_jolinep

Twitter: tanesha_jolinep